What To Do When Others Try To Bring You Down

Speaker 1: 0:18

I live in a smaller community where, sadly to say, there are a lot of clicks and prejudgements about people. Not everyone wants to see others succeed. The haters have become my billboard, so to speak, on how many lives I can influence, plus more. So I stay focused and don't let it get to me. My question is have you encountered this on some level and what have you done that has helped you as different things surface?

Speaker 2: 0:41

Short answer yes, yes 100%, a lot.

Speaker 3: 0:45

100% yeah, and short answer Don't cater to the hater. Just don't cater to the hater Right. Just focus on you and what your mission is and what your goals are and what your purpose is, and just do you Right. There's always going to be people who they Misery loves company and they don't want to see others succeed, and that makes the world go round. I'm not saying it's right, but it's just to each their own right. It's just. It's just how people are.

Speaker 2: 1:14

Some people are okay being okay and being miserable and be okay with them wanting to be okay, like I had a mentor once tell me and said Steph, who are you to say because there's this person that I really wanted them to grow and they didn't want to grow. And my mentor said, steph, who are you to say that they need to grow, they need to grow. And that blew my mind.

Speaker 3: 1:38

I was like like yeah blew my mind when my mentor told me that years ago Encountered this so many times on our journey, and especially right when we started and we were so excited about everything we were learning and everything that we knew and how we could help people. And we, just, you know, we wanted to go and help everybody, but not everybody wants to be helped and that's a that's. You know.

Speaker 3: 2:01

It's not easy to, it's not an easy pill to swallow at first, right, because you would think, why wouldn't people want to live their best life? Right, but some people, just, it just doesn't doesn't matter to them, or they just don't think that they can or that they deserve that, right? So so, anyway, going back to to her question here is just be you, do you, and remember, as we always talk about crabs in the bucket, right, there's, there's always people out there that are, just you know, pulling other people down into their misery and and you can't let that affect you, you can't let that pull you down by any means. And just be the shining light and just be you and focus on the individuals who do want help, who do want to change, and put your energy there. And it doesn't mean, you know, you need to stonewall those people. I mean you could, and just you know, cut them out of your life. Those are the that would be the nefarious crabs. Right and just cut them out so that you don't have to be around that energy.

Speaker 3: 3:09

But then there's also the caring crabs, which look like family friends or family, and so you can't always just cut those individuals out. So have a strategy for what you do or how to protect yourself mentally and emotionally, spiritually and physically as well, so that you're not affected by their Crabness, negativity, right, crabness or crabbiness. Exactly, exactly, yeah. And you know there's a saying going back to you know how she said you know, some people just don't want to see other people succeed. Well, there's in Australia they say this all the time there's a tall poppy syndrome, right, and that's where you know the tallest poppies in the field that stand up above the rest. They're going to get cut down first because they're tall, and you see them.

Speaker 2: 3:58

Yeah, if they're out picking flowers. Oh, there's the one I see, I'll cut that one, it's easy. It doesn't disappear amongst the sea of flowers, it's right there, which is a great metaphor.

Speaker 3: 4:08

So individuals who are standing out, standing above the rest, they're the ones that are the easiest to cut down because they're standing out, people see them. So you, you know, you got to just develop a thick skin and just be okay, to have the haters, so to speak, and use it as fuel to drive you. And I think that's I haven't heard that reference before, but I think that's what you're saying when you say the haters have become my billboard, so to speak, on many lives I can influence. So, yeah, turn it into fuel, turn it into an energy to just say you know, hey, I'll show them like I'm going to change the world, I'm going to help as many people as I can, and just you know, let it, let it fuel you and let it drive you into success.

Speaker 2: 4:57

Yeah, remember, we talk about this during Mind Power Breakthrough and it's also in our book. Just, this is a good kind of rinse and repeat of what are the two different types of quote unquote crabs. And you all know, know my story of being with my step grandfather, charles and his 17 foot Boston whaler in the intercoastal waterway, not too far from here in Wrightsville, actually Wilmington, north Carolina, between Wilmington and Wrightsville Beach, and I remember being I was like seven years old or something like that, and he pulled the cage in and there's all these crabs, and I remember it like it was yesterday when I pulled one crab out, I put it in the bucket and it came out of the bucket and it went right back into the intercoastal waterway and I was like what just happened? Anyway, you got to grab two crabs.

Speaker 2: 5:41

You had a good, you know, strong Southern gentleman type accent. You could say he goes, steph, you got to grab two crabs and I, so I put two crabs in there and I saw the fight happen, like one was trying to crawl out and then just grabbed a, pull it back in and vice versa, and and and. Then this is this is something interesting too. He said to me what do you think keeps them in the cage. I'm like that's a good point because there's this big, huge hole they can easily get out they could get out, but it's the same thing that keeps them in a bucket whenever you're.

Speaker 2: 6:10

You know, crabbing is the same thing that kept them in the cage right, which is why oftentimes, if one crab goes in to get the bait it can, it can leave to go in. At the same time They'll keep each other inside the cage.

Speaker 3: 6:22

They just keep pulling at each other.

Speaker 2: 6:23

Now, now, same thing I noticed too. There was in this cage. I saw some crabs just kind of sitting there. Some crabs were like you could tell they were like fighting the other crabs. It's like crazy. This is like a sociology experiment right in front of my very eyes. I'm like this is exactly how it works in real life Same crabs, and you also have nefarious crabs, and so it's a good refresher. We gotta rinse and repeat this. You, the nefarious crabs are actually, though they're the most dangerous and harmful. They're the easiest to cut out of your life.

Speaker 3: 7:01

Cause you just cut them out, don't give them any energy.

Speaker 2: 7:05

Don't give them any energy. They're extremely insecure and they're threatened by you.

Speaker 3: 7:10

Yeah, hurt people, hurt people.

Speaker 2: 7:12

Ooh, did you catch that?

Speaker 3: 7:14

So no, you know what we know in our brain. We just know like, okay, that person is acting out or they're trying to get attention, may it be negative, they're going through something. I'm not gonna let that affect me. If it's somebody who truly doesn't wanna be helped, if they wanna be helped, of course we're gonna help them. But if they don't, and they're not asking for help, then it's like okay, move on, cause we are, we're going Like we're on our mission, so out of the way.

Speaker 2: 7:39

Yeah, so so nefarious crabs easy, cut them Like and you don't even have to do a ceremoniously. There's no need to contact them and break up with them. Just ignore them. Ignore them and do the forgiveness process with them that you guys learned during Mindpower Breakthrough. Put in the guided meditation of Steph and Shay and put that nefarious crab, or crabs or crabs on the stage. Say everything you need to say to them, including expletives if need be. And I say that not that it's necessary. That's idiosyncratic, but some people need that.

Speaker 1: 8:12

Just to express.

Speaker 2: 8:13

To express and get complete. Do what you need to do to get complete and then forgive them. Have them forgive. You cut the energy. Let them go and just ignore them. Delete them from your phone.

Speaker 3: 8:23

Delete the messages et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, and leave them from social media or whatever, wherever they're coming into your environment. The nefarious.

Speaker 2: 8:29

You gotta cut out, yeah, you just gotta. If they're looking to cut you, yeah, or cut you down, you need to cut them out. Period, full stop.

Speaker 3: 8:38

Think of. You know this bottle of water. Right, it's only got so much water in it. Let's say it's filled up to the top and let's say this is the same as our energy. You can only pour out whatever's in here in terms of your energy. So you can either pour out that energy into the nefarious crab or you can pour it into your family.

Speaker 2: 8:59

Your family, your clients, your clients, your network, your self.

Speaker 3: 9:02

Your church Wherever you like to. That's positive, right, but you only have that same amount of energy, so where are you gonna use it?

Speaker 2: 9:10

Don't use it on nefarious crabs. They're trying to cut you. Cut them out. The thing that you have to spend the most time and energy on are your carrying crabs. That's like your friends and family, because you probably can't cut them out unless you can some people can, but you need to manage them. So your carrying crabs, you have to manage them and you have to also try to re-educate them.

Speaker 2: 9:32

You might have to say things like if you say, hey, I'm gonna 10x my income, that's not possible, especially during a recession Well, it's okay for you to believe that. I believe something different. Remember what Sam Walton, founder of Walmart, said, right, whenever heading into a recession? And he was interviewed and they said Mr Walton, what do you think about this recession? Yeah, and he goes oh, I thought about it and I'm choosing not to participate. I love that. What, by the way? That's Mind Power, right there. And so you have to have that same type of thinking with carrying crabs. Right, like that's an interesting concept. That I can't 10x my income? Yeah, I disagree, but I love you anyway, right? So keep the relationship, keep connected, but re-educate them and stay solid on what you believe. Stay solid on what you believe. So hopefully that helps.