How to Develop Laser-Sharp Focus [Unreleased Masterclass]

Stéph: 0:18

Too many individuals and, by the way, there's a lot of thinking. The development world, that's all about individuals having this huge metamorphosis. While that is possible, it's also not always sustainable. What is more sustainable, it's a little bit of growth every single day.

Shay: 0:35

Just 1% better every day.

Stéph: 0:37

Like there's some times where our team members ask us like where do you see Steph and Shay five years from now? And we're like I don't know, but we're gonna be growing all along the way when we get there. And now you can tell our team a little bit is like well, wait a second, you're the CEO of the company and president of the company. You should absolutely know. And I'm like but I don't, and I don't wanna limit ourselves about where we could go. And this is a very important learning moment for all of you. This is high level. This is how the, I will say, the world's most achievers of super achievers, how they think Ongoing growth, that should be the goal. Ongoing growth should always be the goal, rather than just pigeonholing yourself to say this is where I'm gonna be in five years. Yes, you can have a nebulous conception or idea of, maybe where you wanna be, but don't get married to it. If you have it as an idea, but the real goal is ongoing growth. Man, you'll surprise yourself how far beyond that five year goal that you'll be. Let me explain why. It's virtually impossible for your consciousness of today, your mindset of today, your neurology of today, to fully fathom what you're capable of five years from now. Who gets that Show of hands, if you understand what I mean by that? So this is why it's important. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Stéph: 1:59

By the way, shay and I have life goals right, we talked about that in Mind Power Breakthrough. We have 10 year goals, for sure. There are 10 year BEGs, or big F-ing goals. We have five year big F-ing goals. Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. Good to have goals. So you are beginning with an in mind, but when it comes down to it, at the heart of the matter and the crux of the matter, the reality is you should make daily growth the goal. The day-to-day goal should be growth, growth, and so one of my BEGs, for instance, our business is ongoing growth. Think about that for a minute, imagine. So here's some mathematics for you. Okay, let's just get into the numbers. I love numbers. So if you aim to get 1% better every single day, by the way, for how many of you you feel like that's pretty easy and pretty attainable, like get just 1% better every day. We've never met somebody who said I can't do that. Well, there might be some of those people, but we're not talking to those people.

Shay: 2:59

They're not in this sphere.

Stéph: 3:00

No, they're just sitting on a couch watching the Simpsons and drinking beer and they're changing the channel of throwing a beer can at the television. Like that we're not talking about those people. Those people aren't into development. They have an existential crisis. If they run out of beer, their cable goes out.

Stéph: 3:15

Like we're not talking about those people, right, we're talking about superachievers. They're always like that seems easy. We've actually had more people say that we talked to. That seems too easy. Like shouldn't it be more? No, so here's math for you. Okay, if on day one, you aim to get 1% better every single day, after 365 days, you will be 37 times better than when you started. Let me repeat that If you aim to be 1% better every day after a year, 365 days, thanks to the compound effect, you will be 37X 37 times better than when you started. And it's sustainable, it's achievable. And so I don't wake up every single morning and say I need to be a new staff today, because that's not sustainable, it's not achievable and, man, that's exhausting to think about. Wow, I got a lot of work to do to be a whole new me today. No, I think about what is a little improvement that I could do to make.

Shay: 4:22

Just make better.

Stéph: 4:24

And then tomorrow, boop, and then the next day, boop, and then the next day, boop. Little tiny knob changes every single day. It's sustainable, it's achievable, and this will catapult you past all of your rivals, all of your peers.

Shay: 4:41

Because they're still stuck thinking, yeah, I want to get better. But they try to do the whole thing all at once and then they get overwhelmed, and then they don't even start because it's too much.

Stéph: 4:51

This is a problem. This is what a lot of people do, and what a great mantra If, every single morning after, you did your morning routine, of course. By the way, how many of you are doing your morning routine? How many of you are still doing your morning routine? Ok, good, good, that's everybody. So you're doing your morning routine Good. And afterwards you just said, in the last part of the morning routine, when you're doing the three goals, you could even intertwine it within that part, and do you like? What is something that I'm going to do today? That's going to be a little bit better, just a little bit better.

Shay: 5:18

And not better than other people around you, better than yourself. You're competing against yourself, just making yourself just 1% better than yesterday.

Stéph: 5:28

So important, so important. One of the reasons why you need to stop comparing yourself to others is you don't know. Listen, here's kind of an analogy. Some of you have heard this before, but some of you haven't, so it bears repeating. So if you've got an individual beside you climbing a ladder and they're climbing a little bit faster and they're a little bit ahead of you and you're also on a ladder side by side with them, you can't sit there and go oh wait, they're ahead of me or they're going faster, because you don't know where their ladder began.

Stéph: 6:05

Very important You're not looking at when, metaphorically speaking, their ladder began. This is why you can't do comparison, Because it could have been a little bit more recent. That's one reason why not to compare. It could have been a long time ago. So they have more experience and they built up momentum and they have extra speed. It's just you never know, metaphorically speaking, where their ladder began, how far below it is.

Stéph: 6:28

You also are never looking to see what is the gap between the rungs. The rungs, the gaps, shorten up Obviously the more experience you have, and when there's less experience, there's a lot more gaps in the rungs, so it's a lot harder to climb. You don't know what is the makeup of their ladder and you don't know when their ladder began. So just stop comparing yourself to other people, just focus on you. Another thing this is another great one, from our mentor, jim Rohn. He said there's two ways to have the tallest building in a town. He says you can focus on chopping down or tearing down the other buildings around you, or you can just focus on building yours higher. Great point, very important point.

Shay: 7:13

Yeah, if you're always focused on what everyone else is doing around you, then you're missing that valuable time and energy on focusing on just where you're going.

Stéph: 7:21

Opportunity cost is the amount of floors that you could have built while you were tearing down someone else's building. Super important, so super important. Stop comparing yourself to others but at the same time, make sure you're aiming to just get 1% better every day. What did I do this morning? I was like, okay, okay. I was like, well, this morning I'm going to in my workout, I'm going to do there's a certain exercise that I wanted to do all the way to failure every set and I did it. That was just a little boop little tweak. That was a 1% better every single day, right.

Stéph: 7:56

I remember a couple of days ago I said I want to go a little bit longer of a walk with Shea, sebastian and Bear for a little bit more family time. Today, boop Little micro adjustment Mm-hmm. 1% better every day. This is sustainable To have your focus ever perfectly nailed. It's just, it's not realistic. Boop Little improvement. That would be great, right? What is what? Is a negative thought that you had, or a negative speech pattern you had to your child or to your spouse, that you could just instead say it in a more positive way by saying what do I want instead, or what do they want instead?

Shay: 8:32

Yeah, remembering that we, our thoughts, are 80% negative, right, and they're just on repeat from the day before. So we're constantly having to overcome that negativity and focus on what we want, right, it's just how we are, it's how we're programmed, as it's in our DNA as human beings for our survival. So, yeah, in this modern day and age, we're not, you know, running from a saber-tooth tiger. We're running from, you know, email and running into meetings that we're late for and this and that that are causing anxiety on us. Yet that that's probably one of the biggest hurdles for us as superachievers is just to consistently keep your focus on what you want and don't beat yourself up if it goes negative. Just acknowledge that. Ask yourself, okay, where is this coming from? Why do I keep having this negative thought? Why do I keep thinking this way? And address that and then ask yourself what do I want instead, and focus on the positive.

Stéph: 9:37

Super important. When we were doing research for our book, we were fascinated by the amount of data that was out there. That was scientific data about gratitude that none of the gurus out there ever talked about. They just talked about the more feeling good aspects of it, which is great, you know, do gratitude because it makes you feel good in the center of the other. But then some of the science behind it was insane.

Stéph: 9:58

Just the fact that it dumps all the feeling good chemicals into your bloodstream dopamine, serotonin, right. Endorphins, like everything that makes you actually physiologically feel good Some of the same chemicals that are dumped into your bloodstream when you get in a good workout. Gratitude does the same thing. We're not saying do one or the other, do both Right. That's why it's important to start today with some gratitude. That's part of our morning routine, and then immediately we recommend fitness in some way, shape or form. Get the endorphins, get the dopamine. This is good dopamine. By the way, what is bad dopamine is checking that notification that keeps popping up on your phone. That's quick hits of dopamine that desensitizes your neurons. But when you do things like work out or do gratitude, it's real dopamine and good, a good shot of dopamine that lasts, and so super, super, super, super important.

Stéph: 10:52

But I got to tell you we recently moved to Florida from the West Coast of the United States and so now we're part-time here and part-time in our ranch in Utah, just depending on weather. But this is the first time that we hired an interior designer for our home to help us out. We have a one-year-old. Some of you know that, some of you don't, but we have a one-year-old and we're thinking, oh my gosh, back in the day when we would move or whatever, it was Steph and Shay doing the grunt work and the set or the other. We're going to hire some individuals that can help us do it better than we can. We're big on efficiency and I have to tell you there's a couple of things that she did where she didn't hit the mark. But because I focus every day on being grateful for people and things, et cetera, et cetera, I found myself and I was like, yeah, she missed the mark here, here and here. I immediately something in my head, like in my mind, said, yeah, what has she done well? And then I focused on what she had done well. It's probably 95% of the project was actually done beautifully well.

Stéph: 11:57

And but think about it. How many of you know people that they focus on a negative aspect of a person and stay there? How many of you met people like that? This is a trap and this is what causes people to create their own inner hell, like literally they could, they could demonize somebody by like honing in, like literally, almost with tunnel vision, on the one or two or three bad traits in a person or an event, or in a thing, or in a group of people or in a whatever, and next thing you know, they forget about all of the greatness in that person. And it's. I have to say this.

Stéph: 12:37

I caught myself. I was like, oh no, I'm not gonna go down the path to focusing on the few things where she didn't hit the mark. I'm gonna focus on everything she did. Great, okay, that's a better state of mind. And then I'm still gonna give feedback and say, hey, how do we tweak this so that we make it exactly how we want? But I came to it, rather than in an aggressive manner, in a very grateful manner, and she was like, oh cool, let's just tweak that, cool, I wanted to test some things out. Clearly, you don't like it, no problem. But if I came from kind of an aggressive, ungrateful position. She might have closed off. This is important. So this is all. By the way, we're talking about focus right now.

Shay: 13:13

Yeah, and that really boils down to remember 40 million bits per second are coming at us, yet we can only focus on 40 bits out of the 40 million, right? So if you're only focused on the negative 40 bits about this person or event or thing, It'll feel like the 40 million. It'll feel like all of it right.

Stéph: 13:36

Because that's where your focus is. It's super important.

Shay: 13:39

And then you get more of what you focus on right, Because you get what you expect. So when you're focused on that negative aspect, then you get more of that.

Stéph: 13:48

Yeah, this right here is how individuals end up creating their world right, and it's all about where they're directing their focus.

Shay: 13:59

You can have two people at the same event. Let's say they're at a ball game, sitting in the same vantage point, they're sitting right by each other and they can go to this game or movie. What have you? Something that they're watching?

Stéph: 14:14

A hockey match there you go.

Shay: 14:16

And they both come away with two different experiences.

Stéph: 14:21

You're side by side, right, you're one foot apart from each other. It's the same experience. You loved it, they hated it. And 10 bucks says this is how. By the way, this is just neuroscience. 10 bucks says the person that hated that show think about it. Something that's a show that thousands of people see and it's on repeat. I'm thinking about like a movie, an opera, a play or sports or whatever. It's probably in existence because it's done quite well. So from a neuroscience standpoint, probably the person who thought that it was horrible probably is in a state of things being horrible.

Shay: 15:01

Yeah, maybe they had a bad day, maybe they've had a bad week.

Stéph: 15:03

Maybe they've had a bad month, maybe they had a bad life, so everything they're viewing is in a negative manner.

Stéph: 15:09

And this is why, when you listen, what and we've said this over and over and over again, we're gonna say it over and over and over again more what you focus on, you will get. You get what you expect. What you focus on expands, and then, on top of it, energy flows, re-attention goes, so you give it mass, whatever it is that you're focused on. If I, by the way, it didn't come naturally, I had to consciously think about it.

Stéph: 15:35

Whenever I sat there and I went through a laundry list with Shae about our interior designer and the few areas where she missed the mark, I caught myself and I was like man, I could go deeper into this. I'm hold on a second hold on, hold on, and I just I just chunked myself way up, Like I just had to elevate up to the level of the stratosphere, looking down on earth for a minute, and I'm like big picture, how's she doing? She actually crushed it. She crushed the project big picture, which allowed us to move cross country 3000 miles with 125 pound Bernese Mountain Dog in a one year old.

Shay: 16:09

While running our global operation, while running the global enterprise.

Stéph: 16:12

This is key. No way we could have done it without her. We're very grateful.

Shay: 16:16

We'd still be picking out things if we were doing it on our own.

Stéph: 16:21

So, so, so, so this is this is so important. There are some people who they just want to gripe and complain all the time about everything and everyone. Yeah, they're just the joy to be around, aren't they? Yeah, yeah, not so much.

Shay: 16:40

It takes a lot of energy to be around someone like that.

Stéph: 16:42

It's a lot of energy to be around somebody like that. Don't mistake being positive versus negative and being critical and being a pushover. Anyone who knows me knows I'm very much an optimist, very positive. I'm also hyper critical. That's important as a business owner. You have to be, you have to be.

Shay: 17:04

You can't just think and focus well, everything's going to be okay, it's all going to work out. Yes, there's an aspect of that that is true. Yet you have to be critical about the state of your business to course correct if things aren't going the way you want it to right Now.

Stéph: 17:17

The worst is somebody who's a pessimist and they're critical. They're a pessimist. There's not an ounce of positivity within them, so they're hypercritical on everything, and it's why a lot of people tune them out and don't listen to them, because there's no positivity in it. And so focus, focus. Now speaking about focus too, to help you guys take it to the next level with your focus, your words start to become even more conscious of the words you're using in your world, right, so important the words that you use. They not only define your experience, they describe it, right, and as you're describing it, you're defining it. So the words we use to describe our experience define it. The words we use to define our experience, we'll describe it and at the same time, it's creating the experience. And so we have to realize that the words we use end up creating our experience, which will, which will define you in a positive way or destroy you. And so we've got to be very careful about the words that we're using, the words that we're speaking.

Shay: 18:28

Do they set you up for success with possibility words, or do they set you up for failure with negative words?

Stéph: 18:37

Super important, super important. So now we're talking about focus, not just mind, but focus in terms of the focus, in terms of language, your language. This is important and this is next level, and so you want to be very start to deconstruct the way that you communicate and improve it. Don't say that I'm not a millionaire if you're not. Say I'm not a millionaire yet.

Shay: 19:05

Ooh, what a word, or I don't have my finances the way I want.

Stéph: 19:11

Yet what a powerful word.

Shay: 19:13

You also have. The mind can't process negative, so the word don't is in there. So when you remove that, they mind here's, I have my finances where I want.

Stéph: 19:22

What is yet implied? What is yet what, what, what, what, what all could yet mean when you say I'm not at my ideal body weight yet I don't have my dream partner or my dream mate yet.

Shay: 19:35

Yeah, it's coming, I will make it happen. You're leaving opportunity, open possibility for it. When you, when you don't, it closes it and it's like the unconscious is like, yeah, it's just not going to happen. Well, that little, tiny word is so powerful. It leaves the possibility and unconscious mind goes yes, there's, there's still room, there's still time to go get it.

Stéph: 19:56

Just a three letter word Y, e, t. Yet this is a way in your language that you can do. You can literally start to direct your focus and direct your creation into being what you do want to have happen. If there's something you want, never just say this, I don't have it. Always say I do not have this.

Stéph: 20:19

Yet Powerful language this is, this is the true master starts to understand that right, bruce Lee said it best, and he says we have to be careful for the words that we're using and we have to be careful of the words that we're using, especially if it relates to describing ourselves. He says we have to because every single word that we use casts a spell, he goes, which is why it's called spelling. Think about that Interesting, right? Interesting quote from the master himself, bruce Lee Every single word that you use casts a spell. Now, spell like, implies and talks about like magic and things of that nature. But if you think about it, when it comes down to it, it just has to do with intentions, has to do with your thought patterns, focus, manifesting, create, creation, et cetera. Okay, so so, being very careful about the words that you use and and so so, focus, focus, focus, focus, focus, focus, focus. Aim to get 1% better every day with your thoughts, with your language to yourself and your language to others.

Stéph: 21:24

How many of you started becoming more careful about the language you you said to your children or to your spouse or to your teammates yeah, good. Last thing you want to say is I don't want you to fail, I don't want you to fail, I don't want you to fail. I don't want you to fail. I don't want you to fail, yeah, good. Last thing you want to say is I don't want you to fail. Ooh, you want to say I see you succeeding. There's some challenges that you're you're definitely going to need to overcome. I got to tell you, though I believe in you and I see you succeeding. Right, so important. The worst thing that we can say is to our kids is don't come home past curfew, don't do drugs Right, I mean, it's rather than the whole huge campaign that happened thanks to Nancy Reagan. Just say no to drugs. I really wish the campaign was just stay clean, stay healthy, stay well, without so much focus on quote, unquote drugs. And so, anyway, parents, speak to your kids in terms of what you want them to do.

Shay: 22:31

Yeah, say it the way you want it.

Stéph: 22:33

This is all to do with focus, because we know if that right there you get 1% better every single day with your thoughts, your inner thoughts, your language to yourself and your language to others, your whole world will start to open up more and more and more and more and more. And please don't be the individual that uses this principle as a force for bad. Only use it as a force for good, because a lot of individuals they get hyper focused in what they were focused on before I know you're all free from that and they go down this path of becoming more hyper critical and more pessimistic. Be the shining light and the individual that sees good. There's a little book called the Yoga Sutras is written around 400 AD by a yogi called Patanjali, and Patanjali had this great, great great sutra within there and he said every day I wake up and I go out and I look for the divine in everyone.

Stéph: 23:33

Every day I go out after I wake up and I look for the divine in everyone, not looking at how somebody is wronging them or how somebody is failing them or how somebody is inherently bad or what have you right and just go out and look for the divine in everyone. Look for how everybody is great. You'd be surprised. They're probably generally great, Well, except for those handful of people.

Stéph: 23:56

Yeah, who just you know, you know who those people are, but these are the individuals that you probably you just don't need to spend much time with and you shouldn't exhaust your energy on. Don't worry about those individuals, right? I think Jim Rohn said, generally speaking, there's only in the whole world there's probably eight really horrible, bad people and they're just out to get everybody you know. I mean, I'd say the number is larger than eight now because all those people pro created together and so over time, since Jim Rohn was saying that quote, I'm sure there's more, but but anyway, don't worry about those people. Don't worry about those people. Cut them out. They're trying to cut you, just cut them out.

Stéph: 24:39

They're not shining lights and beacons of hope and trying to help people level up. They're trying to find any way, shape or form to push people down. Right, this all has to do with focus. Remember what Jim Rohn said you are the average of the five people that you hang out with the most. You are the average of the five people you hang out with the most. So if you're spending a lot of time with with grumpy people, if there's just five, five grumpy people in your world, then you're going to be the six you spend time with five really happy, jovial, joyful people, then you're going to be the six, five people that are struggling in their finances.

Shay: 25:19

You're going to be the six.

Stéph: 25:21

Five wealthy people that are building wealth and living their dream life.

Shay: 25:25

You're going to be the six.

Stéph: 25:26

Five people that are negative nancies. No offense to any nancies. You're going to be the six, five people living a Mind powered life and staying on top of their thinking and focusing on what they want.

Shay: 25:38

You're going to be the six.

Stéph: 25:41

That's right Focus. You have to start to protect your focus. Famous medical hypnotherapist, dr Milton Erickson, in 1976, he said patients because he was a medical doctor and he said this to a whole bunch of other medical doctors. He said your patients are going to be your patients because they're out of rapport with their inner self because of too much outside programming.

Shay: 26:08

That was in 1976, folks, what Imagine today, 2023,? Almost 50 years later how much out of rapport people are with themselves due to too much outside programming. That was before the internet, that was before smartphones, that was before social media. Yes, so it's unbelievable today how many people are disconnected from themselves.

Stéph: 26:34

And so the reality is designing your best life, your dream life, your awesome life. The life that you deserve to have is going to require you to protect your focus.